So many songs…

In 2015, my wife and I became pregnant. Honestly, it was mostly her being pregnant. I only look pregnant due to the fact that I’m morbidly obese. But that’s another matter.

So, we found out we were pregnant that summer, so that fall I headed into the studio to track a holy shit ton of new music. We tracked the basics: drums and bass, and then I shelved the tracks until a future date after which I would have spent the appropriate amount of time being a new dad.

Flash forward to spring, 2019. My wife and I bought our first home. We moved our family into our new abode, and suddenly I had a massive new studio I had to set up. I spent the spring doing just that, and now Legitimate Businessman Studios is alive and well.

And, boy fuckin’ howdy is it functional. I am in the midst of (FINALLY) getting to work on… let me count them real quick… 46 songs spanning multiple bands and projects.

Long story short… New Aaron Sarlo music will be flooding all over 2020 like a gushing river of bounty.

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Dangerous Idiots 10th Anniversary Remastered Edition - THE PICKS!

These are the guitar picks I used to write, demo, and track 2011’s DANGEROUS IDIOTS. They are pinned to my studio wall. I am very proud of these picks. They were worn down into little, round nubs in the process of me writing and recording some of my favorite and most personal songs.

One time, Bonnie Montgomery asked to borrow one of the orange ones to play a song live on the air at Little Rock’s own KABF. I sheepishly loaned her one, and then hovered over her like a vulture, anxiously demanding it back when she was done. She looked at me like I was an idiot. Which, of course, I am.

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I am the most famous Aaron Sarlo in the world.

You got that right, folks. There are quite a few Aaron Sarlos out there, and I am the most famous one. Now, this may seem like a very small achievement, and it is. That being said, I think it’s interesting to point out that along with being the most famous Aaron Sarlo in the world, I am quite possibly the most famous Ardent Records alumna to play electric dulcimer. Alex Chilton couldn’t say that. He won a Grammy, but he wasn’t the most famous Ardent Records artist who played electric dulcimer — not by a long shot. I am also one of the four most famous members of Techno Squid Eats Parliament. Oh, and nobody else has a song called Penis Tsunami, this I can promise you.

So, remember, just because you’re not the most famous person in the world, you are, in fact, the most famous person to be reading this sentence — almost assuredly. So, buck up, tiger.

The infamous "Flying Squirrel” t-shirt with my name and a regular gig I did for a hot minute in downtown Little Rock. I handmade a couple dozen of those shirts, and they still pop up on occasion.

The infamous "Flying Squirrel” t-shirt with my name and a regular gig I did for a hot minute in downtown Little Rock. I handmade a couple dozen of those shirts, and they still pop up on occasion.

Icelandic Penis Museum

I don’t know much in this world, but I do know that when a friend texts you a link to an Icelandic museum devoted to penises, and you have a song about a penis, you sit down immediately and send them this:

“Hello. I would like to inquire about your museum. I have written and released a song called “Penis Tsunami,” and it is about a penis. I am interested in submitting my song into the songs-about-penises wing of your museum. If your museum does not have a subsection devoted to music written about penises, as it should, then I am interested in offering my song, “Penis Tsunami,” as the first submission. I think we could all agree that songs about penises are universal, in that they span the world’s many cultures as well as the eras of man. I humbly submit that “Penis Tsunami” may stand as one of mankind’s highest achievements in penile-themed songcraft.

Here is a secret SoundCloud link, so that you may listen to my song to determine its eligibility for consideration as a potential exhibit. Thank you for your time and consideration.

— Aaron Sarlo”

To quote my friends text: Sometimes you gotta think outside the cocks.

Life is fun.

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Ted

All these movies and shows about Ted Bundy right now. Know why? Because 2019 is the 30th anniversary of his death. That shows what a negative culture we are. We should be celebrating the anniversary of his birth. 

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Website redesign

You may notice, after scrolling past this post, that I don’t post very often. There is a good reason for this, and his name is Magnus Rex Sarlo  

So, I redesigned the website. Click through it, and admire its lovely, nuanced majesty. Admittedly, it is far from perfect. The DANGEROUS IDIOTS tab is sparse, to say the least. (That band is and has done great stuff. I’ll fill that section out when I have a day or two to spare.) Also, there are no links to listen to music. Plus, my other bands, DUCKSTRONAUT, and my old band from my Boston, Mass. days, SLEPT, are nowhere to be found. I’m working on all of it. 

In the interest of keeping this short, I’ll wrap this up with a photo of me and my full time job / best thing I ever did with my life. Please check back often, and subscribe for updates. I got a lot of stuff to tell you about reeeeal soon. I’m about to jam my new country (yes, country!) song up the world’s Sigmoid colon like it’s its first night in prison. 

Ugh. That last sentence does not go well with this picture of my child. 

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Magnus Rex Sarlo, seen here taking up all my time.