Wal-Mart Story #1

I was at Wal-Mart tonight, standing in a deep line at 6:00 p.m. Everybody in line just got off work, still in their work clothes, totally unhappy, everybody.

The lady directly in front of me is an older, larger, white lady in a hover-round. I don’t want to “body shame” her, so I will describe her as a Trump voter. Use your imagination. Her cart was full of Trumpy, crap food, and she was reading a celebrity gossipy magazine of some kind. If you saw her in the wilderness, on her hover-round, drinking out of a stream or whatever, you’d say, “Oh, look. Look at that wild Trump voter.” AND she also had a big ol’ scowl on her face. Maybe from the long wait, but mayber because the people in front of her were a young hispanic couple paying with food stamps. 

Every bit of this happened. 

So, the young couple leave, and the Trump voter lady scooters forward, and buys all her stuff, is icy towards the check-out girl, too, and the check-out girl I would describe as NOT a Trump voter. Again, use your imagination. But, this young girl did not vote for Donald J. Trump. So, after the Trump voter lady paid, and pulled forward to leave, she stopped suddenly, and said, “Oh! I forgot something,” reached down, and pulled up a king-sized container of All™ laundry detergent -- which she had forgotten to pay for. 

She handed it over to the check-out girl, and I immediately blurted out, “BUT WAIT, THAT’S NOT ALL!” All caps because that's how loud I said it.

I was beaming inside; that joke was my proudest moment. But when I looked around, expecting to see a roomful of smiles, nooooobody was smiling. It was just TENSION and IRRITABILITY and SHUT UP, ASSHOLE on everybody’s faces... which made me snicker out loud like a middle schooler. I am chuckling as I type this. 

So, I leaned forward, and actually said to the Trump voter lady, “See, it’s funny because it IS All.” She gave me the dirtiest look.